u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
