so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
