just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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