I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
