i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
