You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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