So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
