Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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