Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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