so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
