she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
