I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
