I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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