Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
