the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i will never coherently bang her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
