that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
