dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
