operation harelip BJ is a go
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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