Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
