how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
