i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
