hell yes lets make some ravioli
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize