this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize