Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
