i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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