Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
