He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you win again, gameday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
