And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
