Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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