My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
