i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
