sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
