I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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