my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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