Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
