Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
