i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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