i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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