Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
