this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
