I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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