Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
