One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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