Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
