Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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