when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
