I think scott just propositioned me for sex
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
