The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
