Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
