Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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