Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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