Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
