Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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