He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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