i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
