I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there is glitter all over my balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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