google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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