Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
