Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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