he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the day after is always just damage control
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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