I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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