I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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