If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
