All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
