If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
